The beauty of blogs is that they are meant to be regular updates... So I must apologies for this one remaining so static! Before you threaten to spank me ;-) I must offer up my reasons - my old decrepid laptop appears to be going to laptop heaven as the screen decided to stop working along with one row of the keys.... A very kind man from the pub is going to try and get me a new screen but I have just got it back for a day or two.....
So it's not really a laptop at the moment! He has lent me a small screen and a keyboard which are both plugged into my laptop.... He has said I dont need to pay him for the work, just the parts which is kind, and vindicates my dress sense at work and voracious flirting!! If I am being kind in return who knows, I may offer him a blow job ;-)
Actually that wouldnt be too much of a chore and I think is actually one of the reasons I know I am truly submissive by nature... A question someone asked me on formspring and a chat I had with another barmaid that I work with has made me think about this a little more... I think that blowjobs probably are a great test of submissive tendencies ;-)
On formspring I was asked what I would think of a world where saying thankyou with a blowjob was the norm... And my colleague (I will call her Rachel here) and i were talking about sex when she asked me "Sara, do you think it's weird, but I really really enjoy going down on a guy".....
I do love giving blow jobs for a few reasons I think. First and foremost is that one of the world's most satisfying things is kneeling on front of a man, taking his cock deep in your mouth, sucking, and looking up to see the most satisfied smile on his face. Its such a simple act but gives such immense pleasure and its really pleasing to know that I can be responsible for that. I love it and have ever since I was quite young. It really surprised my first boyfriend, dont think he had ever had a gf so eager for cock, but i used to try to suck it several times a day - sometimes he just had to say "enough!!". Secondly i actually, no lie, love the taste! And finally, and this is the one that scares me a little as it conflicts with every other inclination I have, its a feeling of power. For a short while with lips locked around the shaft and my tongue flicking over the head I have power and control... A feeling I am not very used to!
It's something I have discussed a few times with Rachel and she thinks of it in a similar way to me, so I plan to ask her today her thoughts on submission a little more.... Maybe I have found a kindred spirit!
Anyway. I have to go to work in just a moment. With any luck I may get to suck some cock in the cellar before my shift starts!!
I am away next week, going on a training course the brewery is running and the landlord has asked me to accompany him on ;-) so my first "holiday" for ages! Hence I wont be online, sorry, but promise to blog more often when I am home... Have a couple of great dice games to update you on - including lying cuffed and naked in a swimming pool changing room for several hours... thankfully in a locked cubicle so I didnt get into too much trouble ;-)
Much love
x
Sunday 30 May 2010
Monday 10 May 2010
The Dice Game Begins again!!
Well this last week has seen me return to my youth. My first ever experience of bondage and submission in it's truest sense was when i submitted to chance and the roll of 4 plastic cubes... And as you may have seen from my latest blog I have decided to give that a go again!!
So I thought it was only fair that I gave you an update on what I rolled and what happened ;-) the outcome of my first roll was:
Dice 1: 5 (only underwear)
Dice 2: 5 (park / wood)
Dice 3: 1 (cuffed behind back)
Dice 4: 2 (25 minutes)
Challenging but not terrifying i went out and did this on my way to work on Thursday eve last week... From the pokey little bedsit where I live its about a 20 minute walk to work so i set off an hour and a quarter early and diverted via Greenwich Park...... Down to the side of the observatory there is a lovely little wooded area where I often go to walk, nice and discreet but not in the middle of no where!!
I arrived there just after 7pm, removed my skirt and blouse to leave just the lacey black M&S underwear I had one.... In case I needed to make a quick escape I folder my clothes and placed them in my bag... By now my heart was racing, I dont know why because in my life I have done several much more daring and scary things, but there was something different in this. I was on my own. It was my choice to do this. In effect I was doing it to myself. There was no big strong man there if i was spotted. So in a way it was worse.... If I had been with a guy at least it could look like a silly sex game. But there i was on my tod.....
But there was no hesitation - I set my alarm for 25 minutes, quickly cuffed myself behind my back in my favourite pair of metal clejuso cuffs and stood there proudly... Was all rather eventful for the first 10 mins or so until I heard a dog barking... In the distance between the trees i did see a man walking it, so for the next 5 minutes anyone behind me would have seen teh rather odd sight of a 30 something supposedly mature woman shuffling behind a tree to keep out of sight. A rather odd game of hide and seek....
So, dice game one accomplished. It would be terribly cliche ridden to describe the state of my knickers. So I won't! But I will tell you that that night I was so darned horny at work that after my shift finished I had the longest best night of shagging I have had in the last 9 months since I became single!!
God. I am am awful writer. Sorry. Just reread that and it's so dull!! Any ideas on what I can do to improve it? Please help me!! English lit was my worst subject at school by far.........
So there we go. The dice game is now part of my life again. And a very kind follower of my blog has helped refine it further to the final version I have listed below. And I dont want any of you to think I cheat so I will ask this very kind follower to randonly generate 5 new dice numbers as a roll to challenge me today and post the results, and resultant challenge, as a comment on this blog!!
Dice 1 - What to wear
1) Jeans & Jumper
2) Bare Feet
3) Just a dress
4) Corset and Heels
5) Only Underwear
6) Totally Nude
Dice 2 - Where to be
1) On Public Transport
2) In the Pub where you work
3) In a Shop Changing Room.
4) At the Gymn / Swimming Pool
5) In a Public Park / wood
6) At a Friends house
Dice 3 - Bondage / Position Part A
1) Hands Cuffed Behind Back.
2) Hands Cuffed to an immovable object.
3) Hands Cuffed between Legs
4) Hands Cuffed between Legs
5) Cuffed to another person
6) Wearing Rope Web / Harness (Must be worn visably)
Dice 4 - Bondage / Position Part B
1) Ankles Cuffed / Tied together
2) Ankles in Spreader Bar
3) Standing in corner facing wall
4) On Floor in fetal position.
5) Lying down
6) Kneeling
Dice 5 - How long to stay like that for
1) 10 mins
2) 25 Mins
3) 45 Mins
4) 1.5 Hours
5) 3 Hours
6) 6 Hours
Much love
H x
So I thought it was only fair that I gave you an update on what I rolled and what happened ;-) the outcome of my first roll was:
Dice 1: 5 (only underwear)
Dice 2: 5 (park / wood)
Dice 3: 1 (cuffed behind back)
Dice 4: 2 (25 minutes)
Challenging but not terrifying i went out and did this on my way to work on Thursday eve last week... From the pokey little bedsit where I live its about a 20 minute walk to work so i set off an hour and a quarter early and diverted via Greenwich Park...... Down to the side of the observatory there is a lovely little wooded area where I often go to walk, nice and discreet but not in the middle of no where!!
I arrived there just after 7pm, removed my skirt and blouse to leave just the lacey black M&S underwear I had one.... In case I needed to make a quick escape I folder my clothes and placed them in my bag... By now my heart was racing, I dont know why because in my life I have done several much more daring and scary things, but there was something different in this. I was on my own. It was my choice to do this. In effect I was doing it to myself. There was no big strong man there if i was spotted. So in a way it was worse.... If I had been with a guy at least it could look like a silly sex game. But there i was on my tod.....
But there was no hesitation - I set my alarm for 25 minutes, quickly cuffed myself behind my back in my favourite pair of metal clejuso cuffs and stood there proudly... Was all rather eventful for the first 10 mins or so until I heard a dog barking... In the distance between the trees i did see a man walking it, so for the next 5 minutes anyone behind me would have seen teh rather odd sight of a 30 something supposedly mature woman shuffling behind a tree to keep out of sight. A rather odd game of hide and seek....
So, dice game one accomplished. It would be terribly cliche ridden to describe the state of my knickers. So I won't! But I will tell you that that night I was so darned horny at work that after my shift finished I had the longest best night of shagging I have had in the last 9 months since I became single!!
God. I am am awful writer. Sorry. Just reread that and it's so dull!! Any ideas on what I can do to improve it? Please help me!! English lit was my worst subject at school by far.........
So there we go. The dice game is now part of my life again. And a very kind follower of my blog has helped refine it further to the final version I have listed below. And I dont want any of you to think I cheat so I will ask this very kind follower to randonly generate 5 new dice numbers as a roll to challenge me today and post the results, and resultant challenge, as a comment on this blog!!
Dice 1 - What to wear
1) Jeans & Jumper
2) Bare Feet
3) Just a dress
4) Corset and Heels
5) Only Underwear
6) Totally Nude
Dice 2 - Where to be
1) On Public Transport
2) In the Pub where you work
3) In a Shop Changing Room.
4) At the Gymn / Swimming Pool
5) In a Public Park / wood
6) At a Friends house
Dice 3 - Bondage / Position Part A
1) Hands Cuffed Behind Back.
2) Hands Cuffed to an immovable object.
3) Hands Cuffed between Legs
4) Hands Cuffed between Legs
5) Cuffed to another person
6) Wearing Rope Web / Harness (Must be worn visably)
Dice 4 - Bondage / Position Part B
1) Ankles Cuffed / Tied together
2) Ankles in Spreader Bar
3) Standing in corner facing wall
4) On Floor in fetal position.
5) Lying down
6) Kneeling
Dice 5 - How long to stay like that for
1) 10 mins
2) 25 Mins
3) 45 Mins
4) 1.5 Hours
5) 3 Hours
6) 6 Hours
Much love
H x
Thursday 6 May 2010
Thursday 6th May
It's General Election Day. I have just voted!! Have you?
As the nation puts it's trust in the vote of the electorate I place my trust in the decisions of 4 dice ;-) following my last blog "Sheep" kindly suggested the following combinations......
Dice 1 - What to wear
1) Jeans & Jumper
2) Bare Feet
3) Just a dress
4) Corset and Heels
5) Only Underwear
6) Totally Nude
Dice 2 - Where to be
1) On Public Transport
2) In the Pub where you work
3) In a Shop Changing Room.
4) At the Gymn / Swimming Pool
5) In a Public Park / wood
6) At a Friends house
Dice 3 - How to be positioned / tied
1) Hands Cuffed Behind Back.
2) Cuffed to an immovable object.
3) Rope Web / Harness
4) On Floor in fetal position.
5) Hobbled
6) Cuffed to another person
Dice 4 - How long to stay like that for
1) 10 mins
2) 25 Mins
3) 45 Mins
4) 1.5 Hours
5) 3 Hours
6) 6 Hours
So here we go. You will have to trust me, and i swear I am putting my faith in the 4 dice. The only thing that scares me is if i roll Dice 1 as 6 (naked) and Dice 2 as 1 (public transport) as that could well get me arrested. Not sure what i will do if that happens!!! Either I will chicken out completely or i will wait for a night bus and cower on the top floor....... Gulp!!
So. Here goes.
Dice 1: 5 (only underwear)
Dice 2: 5 (park / wood)
Dice 3: 1 (cuffed behind back)
Dice 4: 2 (25 minutes)
Wow. Some may think that's tough. But I am a bit relieved!! I will go out now and obey the dice....... Wish me luck....... Will tell you how it goes later!!!
One thought........ If I had a 5th or a 6th dice what could it signify??
H xx
As the nation puts it's trust in the vote of the electorate I place my trust in the decisions of 4 dice ;-) following my last blog "Sheep" kindly suggested the following combinations......
Dice 1 - What to wear
1) Jeans & Jumper
2) Bare Feet
3) Just a dress
4) Corset and Heels
5) Only Underwear
6) Totally Nude
Dice 2 - Where to be
1) On Public Transport
2) In the Pub where you work
3) In a Shop Changing Room.
4) At the Gymn / Swimming Pool
5) In a Public Park / wood
6) At a Friends house
Dice 3 - How to be positioned / tied
1) Hands Cuffed Behind Back.
2) Cuffed to an immovable object.
3) Rope Web / Harness
4) On Floor in fetal position.
5) Hobbled
6) Cuffed to another person
Dice 4 - How long to stay like that for
1) 10 mins
2) 25 Mins
3) 45 Mins
4) 1.5 Hours
5) 3 Hours
6) 6 Hours
So here we go. You will have to trust me, and i swear I am putting my faith in the 4 dice. The only thing that scares me is if i roll Dice 1 as 6 (naked) and Dice 2 as 1 (public transport) as that could well get me arrested. Not sure what i will do if that happens!!! Either I will chicken out completely or i will wait for a night bus and cower on the top floor....... Gulp!!
So. Here goes.
Dice 1: 5 (only underwear)
Dice 2: 5 (park / wood)
Dice 3: 1 (cuffed behind back)
Dice 4: 2 (25 minutes)
Wow. Some may think that's tough. But I am a bit relieved!! I will go out now and obey the dice....... Wish me luck....... Will tell you how it goes later!!!
One thought........ If I had a 5th or a 6th dice what could it signify??
H xx
Wednesday 5 May 2010
Who wants to play a game!?
If you look back to my blog of March 17th, you will see "The Dice Game"........ Nowadays this feels a little childish to me, but I had a thought this morning, I realised it was childish because it was self domination as I choose the consequences for each number on the dice..... I wondered if it would be scarier and indeed more thrilling if others, perhaps those reading my blog, chose the consequences of each dice roll for me.....
So if anyone is interested I will committ to giving it a go!! I need 6 consequences for 4 dice..........
So let me know what you think I should select for
DICE 1 - What to wear:
1: Fully clothed in shoes, jeans, shirt and jumper
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: Completely and totally nude
DICE 2 - Where (what location) to be in? When I was a child this was places like in my bed, or wardrobe, to in the woods or garage
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
DICE 3 - How to be tied or how to position myself. When I was a child this was things like i would have to position myself from standing, kneeling or lying down (1, 2, 3) to having my bike lock wrapped around my feel (4), wrists self tied with dressing gown cord (5) or ankles and wrists as before (6)
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
DICE 4 - How long to stay like that? As a child this went from 10 mins to 60 mins.
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
Let me know what you think ;-)
H x
So if anyone is interested I will committ to giving it a go!! I need 6 consequences for 4 dice..........
So let me know what you think I should select for
DICE 1 - What to wear:
1: Fully clothed in shoes, jeans, shirt and jumper
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: Completely and totally nude
DICE 2 - Where (what location) to be in? When I was a child this was places like in my bed, or wardrobe, to in the woods or garage
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
DICE 3 - How to be tied or how to position myself. When I was a child this was things like i would have to position myself from standing, kneeling or lying down (1, 2, 3) to having my bike lock wrapped around my feel (4), wrists self tied with dressing gown cord (5) or ankles and wrists as before (6)
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
DICE 4 - How long to stay like that? As a child this went from 10 mins to 60 mins.
1: your suggestion
2: your suggestion
3: your suggestion
4: your suggestion
5: your suggestion
6: your suggestion
Let me know what you think ;-)
H x
Sorry.......... I am awful!
I started this blog off with such good intentions. And then kinda scared myself a bit...... found that I was sharing a lot of my history and background and experience but worrying about how heavily to censor and edit it..... It's a tough choice really as I am in no way ashamed of bdsm or my submission or anything I have done in my life. In fact one of the reasons that I wanted to blog so much was that I wanted to help demystify it and share from a female sub perspective what can be beautiful about bdsm. So many people think its "wrong", "perverted", a "fetish of wierdos". It's not. And I want to say it's not.
And I want to share this message as widely as I can. Therefore I have published the link to this blog on my facebook page. And that's probably what scared me. A lot of my friends know about my kinks and open views on sex. Hell most of them do. But most are real world friends with limited personal experience of bdsm. And in my life my experiences have been intense. So I was worried about sharing them too widely and freaking people out.
Silly I know. I am what I am. So I am back. But I have made a compromise about my blog. I love discussing my life's experiences to date with friends and anyone who is interested. But i will probably keep those conversations for over a bottle of wine, on email, or on msn. I won't broadcast here some of the more depraved things I have done in the past. I am going to start afresh. And talk about my life now. What I am doing. What I enjoy. How submission affects my every day life. From the simple little things. To those complex decisions which i wrestle with. Does that make sense?
Please let me know. I really want to know what you think. And if you like my blog. Please spread the word...... I would love more followers!!
With love,
H x
And I want to share this message as widely as I can. Therefore I have published the link to this blog on my facebook page. And that's probably what scared me. A lot of my friends know about my kinks and open views on sex. Hell most of them do. But most are real world friends with limited personal experience of bdsm. And in my life my experiences have been intense. So I was worried about sharing them too widely and freaking people out.
Silly I know. I am what I am. So I am back. But I have made a compromise about my blog. I love discussing my life's experiences to date with friends and anyone who is interested. But i will probably keep those conversations for over a bottle of wine, on email, or on msn. I won't broadcast here some of the more depraved things I have done in the past. I am going to start afresh. And talk about my life now. What I am doing. What I enjoy. How submission affects my every day life. From the simple little things. To those complex decisions which i wrestle with. Does that make sense?
Please let me know. I really want to know what you think. And if you like my blog. Please spread the word...... I would love more followers!!
With love,
H x
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